In my aud & crazy world I constantly have things running through my head. So rather then continue letting it take up space I'm putting it out there! My thoughts, opinions, fashion tips on a budget, hair tips for crazy unmanageable hair and other aud tidbits that include health and even some politics!

Monday, October 29, 2012

Who done it?

So about two weeks ago I was getting ready to go on a 11 mile run.  Yes, I'm one of those crazy runners out there. One of the ones you either get (because your a crazy runner too) or don't get because who in their right mind would pound pavement for 11 miles unless someone paid you to do it.  Never say never... I was just like you, and then I started running!

Well nonetheless, as I was getting ready to run I realized I had my correction lens on... yes, my glasses.  I hate running in glasses because once you start sweating you just have to keep pushing them back in place every fives seconds.  Its' enough to drive even a mad women crazy.  So, I opened my car door and put them on my seat, shut the door and locked it.

I then decided that I didn't want to wear the florescent yellow shirt that was tied around my waste being that it was already a hot and humid morning.  So, again I opened my car door and placed the shirt on top of my glasses, of this I'm sure, shut the door and again, locked it!

Well my run was one for the record books, after living here in Starkville, MS for only two months and not being very familiar with it, I somehow managed to miss my turn off.  How in the hell did I do this you ask? Well I have no freaking clue, and still I can't figure it out; except to say that the road I was running on was full of cars, and being that Starkville has no shoulders to their skinny roads, I was in fear for my life.  I do remember this and after backtracking just to see what the heck went wrong I realized that, the exact spot where the turnoff was carried a string of lunatic tailgaters making there way through the streets of Starkville, MS.

Needless to say, I ended up running almost a half marathon that day, and to make matters worse, my calve spasmed and a tight knot found it's way into my right calf muscle sending shearing pain through my entire calf muscle, immediately stopping any thoughts I had about running the last mile.  So mile 12 I walked.  It was a mile from hell as any runner can appreciate.  For crying out loud, I had already run 11.5 miles, what is one more measly mile.  I tried two different times to run only for my calf to scream out in pain.  The result a pathetic and lowly girl walking on the side of a crappy road listening to her only saving grace, her iphone.  Thank heaven that baby didn't die on me or I may have gone all awoll right there on Oktoc road.

Best run ever!

So back to the original part of the story.  I finally make it back to my car, ornery  pathetic, and wanting a diet coke so bad I was about to go into withdrawals.  So I get in, throw my shirt on the ground; the one that I had set on top of my glasses, and... nothing.  No glasses.  Anywhere!  I think I was stunned; and as I looked around my car, I thought to myself, you're not losing your mind (I can't knowingly admit that to myself, that would result in a complete and utter meltdown, kind of like a SUPER MELTDOWN.  I've already had a partial meltdown... refer to post #2) the glasses have to be here somewhere I thought.  I slowly drove off and before I could get a mile down the road my instincts and panic got the best of me.  I pulled over, got out, went over to the passenger side door where I had previously put my glasses and shirt and searched.  My glasses were NOWHERE to be found.  I got in turned around and drove back to the spot where I parked.

I was tempted to get down on my hands & knees, however for risk of complete and utter humiliation I settled with pacing back and forth on the side of the road, in front of someone's house and next to someone elses car.  (Because in no way does this appear bizarre or lunatic like.)  And still, nothing... no glasses!

I drove home aloof and thwarted at what could have possibly occurred.   Glasses were there and then they weren't.  When I finally told my husband what had happened that night (Because somehow it didn't seem extraordinary that I had been wearing my prescription sunglasses all day long... indoors, watching t.v.)  The first thing that came out was "I swear a freaking troll got in and stole them!" I know, even now it is the only thing that makes sense.  I mean how in the hell do glasses just get up and walk away.

A 20 minute ordeal of vacuuming out my Journey, and still no glasses to be found.  I'm at a loss.  And to make it worse, I know the second I break down and go get my eyes checked, fork out the money for new glasses; that is the day my glasses will magically appear.

Damn you corrective lens stealing troll!

This is how I see these days, prescription sunglasses, even where the sun don't shine ;)


  1. Well, that is pretty dang funny! You are a great writer you know:) I have done that same thing a million times now...welcome to your 30's...and wait til you get closer to 40! ugh! even worse! I love that story! I love the blog! Great backdrop, fun stuff! Although, i'm gonna have to read the rest when I am not copletely exhausted after a halloween pumpkin carving contest party!!! It was fun, but man, I'm glad it's done for the year:) Don't know why I do this type of thing to myself! Well, I'm gonna try to follow your blog, sis. I love it! Maybe this is your calling...writing! Call a local paper and get a column! Do it!! Love you!

    1. How fun is this! I'm chatting with Sharee through Audra! zounds! Audra will you tell Sharee that the next time she calls to sing me Happy Birthday she needs to finish the flippin song! Sheesh.


  2. I totally love reading your blog! I started watching your youtube exercising journals and they totally motivated me to start running again! Can't wait to keep reading!

  3. I think that's the same troll that takes my other earrings. When you find him-get him good! And tell him I want them back.