In my aud & crazy world I constantly have things running through my head. So rather then continue letting it take up space I'm putting it out there! My thoughts, opinions, fashion tips on a budget, hair tips for crazy unmanageable hair and other aud tidbits that include health and even some politics!

Sunday, November 4, 2012

Decision 2012: War on Women, Part 1

Please post your thoughts, pro-choice or pro-life!  The importance in this election is that women get out and vote.  We as women need to also realize that; without a job, without a paycheck coming in, without a good economy, without the ability to be hired, we are all only as good as the government leading us.  And if we are all out of work, and if we have nothing but debt hanging over our heads; our rights and liberties are going to do little for us.  So be smart and vote for what counts TODAY!

The right to choose life or death by abortion is the hottest topic among liberals these days.  Liberals love nothing more than to paint conservatives and their pro life views as "war on women".  Abortion.  How this has become the main focus of women's rights is beyond me; and the idea of FREE birth control.  Thanks to Obama's mandate, and Sandra what the Flucke! Like women who attend an ivy league school can't afford their own birth control.  But, that is a whole other issue now attached to women's rights, thanks to Obama.  I will leave that for another time.  

Whatever happened to all the major stepping stones that women fought for, right to vote, right to work, right to education, right to conscript, equal pay for equal work.  Have we allowed the liberals to whittle us away to nothing but whether or not we can decide to take a human life before that person can speak for themselves? This is such a hot topic, and in an effort to get my point across, this post is 1 of 2.

Original Post: Abortion

Abortion / Women's Issues: Either but mostly Obama I go back and forth on abortion all the time. I have the same view on abortion that Romney does, which is the same view that many (not all) Mormons have, which can be read here. I've also been thinking a lot about Elder Oaks' recent talk about protecting children. But I think it's not always a black and white issue. I've had two babies. I feel for every woman who has a baby, whether the baby was wanted or not. BABIES ARE A BIG FREAKING FAT DEAL. I have felt the feelings of wanting a baby to go away. (Every day much? Ha.) So, I guess I can just empathize. Whatever that means ... it's scary to say. I'm still figuring it out. As for women's issues in general, I favor Obama a bit more. Actually I favor Obama a lot more. Wow, women's issues are complicated for me. I must be a woman or something. (Anonymous)

Women's rights should not be about women choosing life or death for the unborn child.  I believe very passionately that we MUST stand up and fight on behalf of the fetus (since the baby cannot speak for itself). Instead, we have become numb to our inner moral compass.  We have been persuaded to believe that OUR selfish desires are more important. The ability to feel appreciation for human life has been lost.  This toxic reality is leading to the idea that we care more about ourselves, then for the life of someone else.  And yes, fetus' are human beings.

Anyone who has ever been pregnant cannot deny that there is life inside them (although they may try).  When you can feel, see, and experience the growth of a baby in your belly, it is difficult to deny the existence of that life.  That little baby, even in the beginning, is full of life.

Unfortunately for some the first thought is, I don't want it!  So, instead of giving it to someone who would do anything to have one, but can't; the girl chooses to kill it? Abortion is too nice of a word; it somehow softens the severity of what is actually occurring 

Every woman who has ever given birth to a child knows how hard it is.  Motherhood is the hardest job on earth.  We have all had those days, weeks, or even months, perhaps even years, where we wish we had another life.  I can attest to those feelings of craziness, and wishing you could escape to a deserted island where no one could find you, not even your husband.

I always love the women who don't have kids and how they glare at you any time you say anything like, "I could kill my kids today".  Why do they glare?  Because they want to know what it's like to want to kill their kid's.  These women would do anything to want to tie those little "basement trolls" up; as another fellow mom blogger put it .  Women who've tried and failed to have a baby would love to hate changing diapers, they would love to hate those midnight feedings, those thousands of dirty diapers, spit up on your brand new blouse, food in the hair,  and baggy eyes from lost sleep.  They would give anything to hear & see that winey 5 o'clock dinner time dance when mom is trying to get house cleaned, dinner on, and kids fed; just so she can have a moment of peace once the little hellions are in bed.

I feel for these women, because I know if I were in their shoes, I would be mourning the unborn child as well.  I would be angry, if not furious at the loss of every child that is so easily vacuumed away.  How can you tell this woman that her wants and desires are not as important as your right to kill a baby?

Lets say you COULDN'T have kids.  Would you be begging every girl out there who is having an abortion, to give you that baby?  Would you be begging her to just be selfless for nine months (and really your only showing for 4 or 5 of those months) so YOU could experience what it would be like to be a mother?

I remember vividly that fear before I even started having kids.  It was a very real fear.  Luckily I've been blessed with three kids who drive me absolutely insane almost every day of the year.  I'm positive I'm on the verge of a breakdown most days and my body may never be the same; but would I kill them, NO! Do I wish I'd aborted them, NO!  Would I regret it EVERY day of my life had I, YES!   I always wonder if these girls have asked their mom who was selfless enough to go through with their pregnancies if she'd wished she could've had an abortion. And what if she had? You wouldn't be here.

About a year ago I was involved in a charitable organization, I happened to work with a girl whose stance was pro-choice.  At that time she worked for the women's clinic in Salt Lake City.  She shared multiple stories of girls under eighteen, some as young as fifteen or sixteen who had been in for their second or third abortion. Some were as far along as five and a half months.  I was shocked that she saw nothing wrong with this.  She went on to tell me that they could not advise them on anything except birth control and if the girl wanted an abortion, they could not discuss the option of life if the girl did not want to.  This was shocking to me, because as a mother I know what a baby looks like at five & a half months.  At five & a half months when you go in for your ultrasound, you can see two eyes, ten fingers, itty bitty fingernails, ten toes, their belly button, their tiny little nose, little cute penis' for boys, girls little vajaja's, and most importantly the beautiful heartbeat; the four chambers of the heart are even visible.  There is no mistaking that at five & a half months, there is a human being in your belly.

So how does someone justify abortion?  How does a woman decide to end life?  And if she does, what effects will that decision inevitably take on her life, mentally and physically?

Somehow, there has to be another solution.  One that doesn't involve killing the life of another human being.  


  1. Audra, you have misinterpreted my feelings towards abortion as well as facts about the women's clinic.
    The women's clinic provides medical and surgical abortions up to 20 weeks as is Utah state law. If the abortion is close to the 20 week mark it is often for genetic purposes, such as serious physical or mental deformations. In addition, our counselors provide free information about ALL options other than abortions if the patients are interested or have questions as well as resources for adoption agencies, support groups, etc. We encourage our patients post-procedure to get on some sort of birth control to avoid situations such as abortion and look for ways to make birth control affordable for each woman.
    You said, "I shared multiple stories of girls under eighteen, some as young as fifteen or sixteen who had been in for their second or third abortion. Some were as far along as five and a half months. I was shocked that she saw nothing wrong with this." You couldn't be more off base with this comment. I absolutely see something wrong with this. Lots of things wrong, actually. When I see women coming in multiple times I am questioning bigger picture stuff like resources, access, education, our current health care system. Working at the Women's Clinic is emotionally demanding for patients as well as staff, especially because I saw some women come back multiple times. The hardest part for me is separating how I personally feel and what I think should be available to women. I think it is sad that our medical system allows some women limited resources toward information and as a result occasionally come in for late term abortions. I think it is more sad that some women use abortion as birth control instead of taking responsibility for their actions by being on a form of birth control (but do understand that not all women can afford or have access to it). But while I have these personal feelings towards abortion (and believe me my personal feelings are much different than what I think should be available to women), it is a necessary service and an option that must be made available. There are 14-18 year old women that are rape victims that come in for abortions. Should a 14 year old girl that was raped by her uncle be forced to have that baby? I would argue absolutely not. She should have the option. There are meth addicts that come in for abortions. Is it fair for that baby to begin life addicted to drugs that have already caused mental and emotional problems? There are situations in which it is the more responsible decision to have an abortion. I never saw a patient come into the clinic that thought that their decision to have an abortion was easy. As a health care provider, I am there to not pass judgement but to provide patients with clean, compassionate care regardless of their decision.
    I hope this has given you more insight into my feelings on this matter. I was very sad to see you think that my thoughts on this matter are so superficial.

    Jackie Bohn

  2. Jackie- Thank you for your insight as well as for stating some of the facts concerning the SLC women's clinic and what is occurring. From our discussion I interpreted your insight as agreeable. Perhaps I misread or should have asked you more questions to get your feelings on the matter and not just what was assumed. I understand your stance and respect your comment.

    I do understand that sometimes there are situations such as rape that are out of their control. I also understand that those women do have the right to terminate if they decide to do so. This is something I discuss in part 2. The women on meth, that is also an extremely sad and tough situation, one that probably has many long term side effects on the life of the baby.

    Perhaps that is why you are going to be the doctor. The ability you have to not pass judgement and do what is in the interest of the patient is obviously a must. I respect that and understand your point.

    I am also glad to hear that the SLC women's clinic does council with the girls, pre & post abortion. I also feel that it is important to educate and try to reach girls before these situations occur.

    I still feel there are many girls out there who see nothing wrong with aborting a baby simply because it is inconvenient. I also still believe that clinics such as planned parenthood don't always act in the best interest of the baby, that they treat abortion as another day at the office. This has been proven time and again.

    I agree that there are certain situations which require understanding and should allow for women who need this option to to have that choice. However there also needs to be a clear distinction made between what is appropriate (medically/psychologically) and what is destructive & narcissistic.

  3. Thanks for the response, Audra. This morning I was trying to think back to our initial conversation about this in the biology building and all I could remember was that it was pretty short. Now that we have been able to discuss more, there are many aspects we see eye to eye on, and the rest I can understand your points and thoughts and respect them. It is a very complex issue, and I'm looking forward to reading part 2. :)
    Also, it's nice to be able to read about you and your family. I miss seeing you on campus!!!

  4. Do you remember our conversation in Macy's? That was when we first talked I believe. Let me know what you think about part 2. I have always respected and appreciated your knowledge and talent in the (pre)medical field! So although we may disagree on some issues, I agree with you that we do seem many issues eye to eye, and I really do appreciate your comments, and that you didn't go all awol on me for any misinformation.

    It's weird not being in Utah! Mississippi is good, different but good; trying to get into the swing of things :) There are good people everywhere is what I've found! Keep me up to date on where you go for med school, you're going to be an amazing doctor someday soon!

  5. I agree that the "system" does a pretty lousy job educating children, youth, and even adults about sex in general, not to mention the interlinked issues of sexual abuse, birth defects, and abortion. While I believe that parents should take on the primary role of educating their children about these issues I also realize that there are many who don't have this luxury who are scarred by the effects of broken homes, abusive relationships, poverty, and substance abuse. Health care providers and medical personnel must be available to provide knowledgeable support, educational tools, and critical services to those who find themselves in need, whether planned or otherwise.

    The debate over pro-life or pro-choice is a very sensitive and heated issue, resulting in very passionate advocates for either side. The problem is that it is not a black and white issue. There are circumstantial conditions in which an abortion not only make sense but may be the right and moral thing. There are also occasions (an alarming number) when an abortion is performed out of convenience or as a source of birth control - I am not ok with that. Unfortunately there are thousands of babies that could have been born each year under healthy conditions and then given to wonderful families through adoption that never were realized.

    I believe in the sanctity of life and our agency to choose. It must be kept in mind that with choice also comes accountability. Without choice there is no accountability.