Decision 2012: War on Women, Part 1

Please post your thoughts, pro-choice or pro-life!  The importance in this election is that women get out and vote.  We as women need to also realize that; without a job, without a paycheck coming in, without a good economy, without the ability to be hired, we are all only as good as the government leading us.  And if we are all out of work, and if we have nothing but debt hanging over our heads; our rights and liberties are going to do little for us.  So be smart and vote for what counts TODAY!

The right to choose life or death by abortion is the hottest topic among liberals these days.  Liberals love nothing more than to paint conservatives and their pro life views as "war on women".  Abortion.  How this has become the main focus of women's rights is beyond me; and the idea of FREE birth control.  Thanks to Obama's mandate, and Sandra what the Flucke! Like women who attend an ivy league school can't afford their own birth control.  But, that is a whole other issue now attached to women's rights, thanks to Obama.  I will leave that for another time.  

Whatever happened to all the major stepping stones that women fought for, right to vote, right to work, right to education, right to conscript, equal pay for equal work.  Have we allowed the liberals to whittle us away to nothing but whether or not we can decide to take a human life before that person can speak for themselves? This is such a hot topic, and in an effort to get my point across, this post is 1 of 2.

Original Post: Abortion

Abortion / Women's Issues: Either but mostly Obama I go back and forth on abortion all the time. I have the same view on abortion that Romney does, which is the same view that many (not all) Mormons have, which can be read here. I've also been thinking a lot about Elder Oaks' recent talk about protecting children. But I think it's not always a black and white issue. I've had two babies. I feel for every woman who has a baby, whether the baby was wanted or not. BABIES ARE A BIG FREAKING FAT DEAL. I have felt the feelings of wanting a baby to go away. (Every day much? Ha.) So, I guess I can just empathize. Whatever that means ... it's scary to say. I'm still figuring it out. As for women's issues in general, I favor Obama a bit more. Actually I favor Obama a lot more. Wow, women's issues are complicated for me. I must be a woman or something. (Anonymous)

Women's rights should not be about women choosing life or death for the unborn child.  I believe very passionately that we MUST stand up and fight on behalf of the fetus (since the baby cannot speak for itself). Instead, we have become numb to our inner moral compass.  We have been persuaded to believe that OUR selfish desires are more important. The ability to feel appreciation for human life has been lost.  This toxic reality is leading to the idea that we care more about ourselves, then for the life of someone else.  And yes, fetus' are human beings.

Anyone who has ever been pregnant cannot deny that there is life inside them (although they may try).  When you can feel, see, and experience the growth of a baby in your belly, it is difficult to deny the existence of that life.  That little baby, even in the beginning, is full of life.

Unfortunately for some the first thought is, I don't want it!  So, instead of giving it to someone who would do anything to have one, but can't; the girl chooses to kill it? Abortion is too nice of a word; it somehow softens the severity of what is actually occurring 

Every woman who has ever given birth to a child knows how hard it is.  Motherhood is the hardest job on earth.  We have all had those days, weeks, or even months, perhaps even years, where we wish we had another life.  I can attest to those feelings of craziness, and wishing you could escape to a deserted island where no one could find you, not even your husband.

I always love the women who don't have kids and how they glare at you any time you say anything like, "I could kill my kids today".  Why do they glare?  Because they want to know what it's like to want to kill their kid's.  These women would do anything to want to tie those little "basement trolls" up; as another fellow mom blogger put it .  Women who've tried and failed to have a baby would love to hate changing diapers, they would love to hate those midnight feedings, those thousands of dirty diapers, spit up on your brand new blouse, food in the hair,  and baggy eyes from lost sleep.  They would give anything to hear & see that winey 5 o'clock dinner time dance when mom is trying to get house cleaned, dinner on, and kids fed; just so she can have a moment of peace once the little hellions are in bed.

I feel for these women, because I know if I were in their shoes, I would be mourning the unborn child as well.  I would be angry, if not furious at the loss of every child that is so easily vacuumed away.  How can you tell this woman that her wants and desires are not as important as your right to kill a baby?

Lets say you COULDN'T have kids.  Would you be begging every girl out there who is having an abortion, to give you that baby?  Would you be begging her to just be selfless for nine months (and really your only showing for 4 or 5 of those months) so YOU could experience what it would be like to be a mother?

I remember vividly that fear before I even started having kids.  It was a very real fear.  Luckily I've been blessed with three kids who drive me absolutely insane almost every day of the year.  I'm positive I'm on the verge of a breakdown most days and my body may never be the same; but would I kill them, NO! Do I wish I'd aborted them, NO!  Would I regret it EVERY day of my life had I, YES!   I always wonder if these girls have asked their mom who was selfless enough to go through with their pregnancies if she'd wished she could've had an abortion. And what if she had? You wouldn't be here.

About a year ago I was involved in a charitable organization, I happened to work with a girl whose stance was pro-choice.  At that time she worked for the women's clinic in Salt Lake City.  She shared multiple stories of girls under eighteen, some as young as fifteen or sixteen who had been in for their second or third abortion. Some were as far along as five and a half months.  I was shocked that she saw nothing wrong with this.  She went on to tell me that they could not advise them on anything except birth control and if the girl wanted an abortion, they could not discuss the option of life if the girl did not want to.  This was shocking to me, because as a mother I know what a baby looks like at five & a half months.  At five & a half months when you go in for your ultrasound, you can see two eyes, ten fingers, itty bitty fingernails, ten toes, their belly button, their tiny little nose, little cute penis' for boys, girls little vajaja's, and most importantly the beautiful heartbeat; the four chambers of the heart are even visible.  There is no mistaking that at five & a half months, there is a human being in your belly.

So how does someone justify abortion?  How does a woman decide to end life?  And if she does, what effects will that decision inevitably take on her life, mentally and physically?

Somehow, there has to be another solution.  One that doesn't involve killing the life of another human being.  

Short Story

So this is actually something I wrote almost two years ago, but for some reason I have been thinking about it. Why?  Because my baby is turning four in a few months and it makes me lugubrious (new word of the day... meaning: sad. This is my attempt at sounding smarter ;).  My little man is my sidekick, the yin to my yang, the fung to my shui... did I go too far? You get the picture.  He is always full of hugs, kisses, cuddles, loves, and always makes me & everyone around him laugh.  The ladies love his blonde curls and his stylish green frog rain boots.  Not to mention he is the cutest superhero alive in his green frog rain boots,  buzz lightyear underwear, and superhero cape! I would post pics, but someone from DCSF would probably see this as child abuse, or child porn and have me arrested before the days end.  So I will refrain.  

This particular story was actually an assignment for a class I was taking on stress management.  Ironic, I know! Anyhow, for all you mom's out there; this is a tribute to you and all those long nights, lost hours of sleep, and all those damn wrinkles that keep creeping up just so we can contribute to the human population.  That somehow in our attempt to make the world a better place, we, in our deranged and erratic heads of ours; believe with all our hearts that WE can make a difference, and somehow we do.  However big or small, we all accomplish great things, all in the name of child rearing.  Nine months of stretch marks, belly's growing unscrupulously large, and your once plump and bodacious boobs now look something akin too (well the only reference that comes to mind is "Do Your Ears Hang Low" except usurp the word Ears for Boobs).  They will forever be mourned. This story is a reminder that all those horrible, body altering,  mood swinging, hormonal/PMSing experiences are all worth it, because somewhere in all that controlled chaos, a moment so sweet nuzzles it's way in, and for an instant...we fall in love all over again.

Here goes...

The day started off like most days, she woke up to the sound of her baby, (who at two and a half wasn't really considered a baby anymore, but to her he was) yelling "mama", "mama", or in other words, "come get me".  Exhausted from the previous few days she flopped her feet out of bed, eyes taped closed with what felt like duct tape and tried to feel her way down the stairs to the babies room. 

Fighting the brightness of any stream of light she finally opened her eyes to her sweet little baby smiling, arms out, ready for his protector to swoop him up and take care of his every need.  As they came upstairs, she tried to wipe the sleepy thoughts from her brain.  (You know the one that says "just fill the sippy cup with milk, turn on "Cars" and then you can go get back in bed"!

The thought won, however it was not long lasting!  Before she knew it the little bug was tapping her arm and signing to her that he was hungry.  Signing had been adopted with her second child as an easy form of communication, and this particular little guy had taken to it especially early and didn't seem to have a desire to talk... as of yet. 

So sleepily she crawled out of bed, wondering why she'd even thought it possible to gain more sleep and kicking herself for not being more disciplined when it came to her desire for sleep.  It seemed her "sleeping brain" could talk the "running brain" or "feed the kids brain" into doing what it wanted every time!

Someday she thought, I will figure out how to control mind over matter; but, for today... "sleep brain" had won yet, once again! Chalk it up for Sleep Brain "to many to count" and "other brain", "zero"; okay not zero but it's numbers are too pathetic to actually put on paper!

As she clumsily filled her child's bowl with cereal and milk she realized the other two children were not yet up and for a second she smiled and took in that tiny moment of quiet bliss.........................................................
And then, like clockwork, that moment had dissipated into thin air.  The seven year old "Crazy" and his nemesis eight, almost nine year old "Drama Queen" sister had awakened and within minutes the tiny moment of quiet bliss had disappeared into a black hole never to be seen again for the next 12 hours. 

As chaos ensued as it did most mornings, she wondered how she'd get anything done.  And then the thought came... "if only I could disappear to some beach by myself, just for 24 hours.  Oh how the world would be a much better place."  Just for a moment! (Perhaps a nice cold diet coke will suffice for now.)

Women, it's time for OUR timeout! Whatever it is, take a moment, close your eyes, drink a diet coke (in my case), sip that wine, read that book... you deserve it!